Mothers and Daughters

FROM ENMITY TO UNITY: THE POWER OF LOVE AND FORGIVNESS

In Genesis 3:15 God tells the serpent He will put enmity between the serpent and Eve and between their offspring. While it is a consequence of sin, enmity is not something that just came about because of circumstance. Through His sovereign will and perfect plan, God made it happen.

ENMITY: ANIMOSITY, HOSTILITY, HATRED

Micah 7 mentions that enemies may be in your very home with sons who treat their fathers with contempt, daughters who revolt against mothers (of which I was one), and daughters-in-law pitted against mothers-in-law. And while these people may seem like enemies, remember how easily you fall under our real enemy’s influence. 

Enmity rises with rebellion. In your daughter it may be jealousy over what her friends get to do or what they don’t have to do. And you may be overwhelmed with responsibility, some of which may not even be yours. Whatever it is, reacting to the feelings and emotion projected with your own feelings and emotions causes animosity and hostility in your home. 

“You adulterous people![a] Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.”

James 4:4

Friends of the world conform to its ways and choose its responses. 

Although they are a factor hormones aren’t to blame, it’s a heart problem that underlies it all. What if you looked at the enmity in your home through a holy lens.

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Romans 12:2

What if you rejected conformity and transformed to a better way by the renewal of your mind, which only happens with God’s Word transforming your thoughts and His Holy Spirit changing your ways from within.

Satan would like nothing more than for us to be at enmity with each other, yet God shows us the enemy of enmity is love.

Love: patient, kind, humble

God’s love is not the world’s definition of a feeling that wanes, causing us to wander. Love seeks the benefit of another over yourself. It is selfless and respectful. 

“Anyone who does not love,” [who’s only sense of it is feeling and emotion] does not know God, because God is love.”

1Jn 4:8

A concise definition of love and the qualifier for having it. God is love. And to know what true love is, you must know God, personally and intimately, not just know about Him. True, pure love can only be found in God and experienced in intimate relationship with Him. True, pure unity is the same.

UNITY: ONE GOD, ONE LORD, ONE HOPE

Unity is the state of forming a complete and pleasing whole, or some thing or things forming a complex whole.

The world’s definition of unity seems similar but it’s terribly veiled: agreement. Opinions and preferences get in the way, causing enmity. Instead of forming a complex whole which holds opinions and preferences loosely in favor of a grip on God’s righteousness, thoughts, preferences, and feelings cause division as you cling to yourself and those who think, like, and feel the same. Thoughts conform to this world and behavior is rooted in fear and self-righteousness.

With all this enmity, how do we find unity?

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God, in Christ forgave you.”

Eph 4:32

FORGIVENESS: BRIDGING THE GAP FROM ENMITY TO UNITY WITH LOVE

You see, forgiveness in Christ, is a direct result of the cross. Unity comes from the indwelling of the Holy Spirit and enabling you to strive to maintain that unity through peace. Unity and the peace with which to maintain it is impossible apart from letting Christ’s work on the Cross encompass your life, bringing you to a state of wholeness you can then model for your daughter.

Jesus suffered and died for love. Letting your daughter witness your suffering with discretion and age-appropriate consideration will help her comprehend and commit herself to His way. You can quote Bible verses and spout from the mouth, but until she has context in which to apply the verses or an understanding of what’s behind your burst pipe, your daughter is likely to continue to rebel and choose to believe what the world sells her.

Take a minute and go get your daughter, I’ll wait. Bring her into the room and let her read this. Before she starts thinking she’s off the hook and I’m stickin’ it to the you, I have something for her, too.

Sweet, precious daughter, you are fearfully and wonderfully made by a God who loves you, who knows every hair on your head, and longs for you to know Him. 

“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.”

Col 3:20

Do you obey your parents every time it seems unfair? Have you skipped out or done only a part of what they asked because you’re tired, don’t have time, or just don’t want to?

There is not a single person in this world, from the youngest to the oldest, who has not sinned and fallen short of God’s glory. And because of that, out of His great love, God sent His only son to die for your sins; every unkind word, every devious thought, and every destructive deed. Jesus died because of them, for you. And on the third day after His death, He rose by the power of the Holy Spirit who had defeated death and the grave, victorious over sin and its shame. 

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,”

Eph 2:8

“But He” [God] “said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient, My power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness that the power of Christ rest upon me.’”

1 Cor 10:13

Allow God’s power to flow in your emotions. Not to fuel them or shut them down but to keep them in check, bringing about humility and vulnerability in the midst of your chaotic feelings, enabling you to be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving. You cannot do it alone. Displaying the kind of love God is and expects can only be done in His power. The power of His Holy Spirit renewing your mind with His word and transforming your behavior as you submit to His will.

Grace is getting what you don’t deserve. Where Jesus extends grace, the world demands vengeance; retribution for the harm caused. When a terse word is spoken or an eye-roll given, grace is often the last thing on your mind. As a daughters you cannot see the reasonable request of your mother. And as a mother you only see the disrespect of your daughters. If each of us looked to the Cross at the unreasonable and disrespectful death of our Savior, we would discover the love that unites us and the peace that sustains us.

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God, in Christ forgave you.”

Eph 4:32